I love writing my blog. It helps me stay focused on keeping safe and sound. But as most who have followed me know, over the past two years I've hardly written at all. All is good with me. I am trying to continue forward on my plans for this place. I am blessed that I have a good job that provides enough money to cover the bills, put some away for the future, take vacations, and still upgrade and work on this farm. We are doing well with food storage, although there have been many bumps in the road on that topic, which someday I hope to delve into more. What I have not been prepared for is issues with Boy and Girl. Mainly Girl.
It's hard enough for a single grandparent to raise two grandchildren. It's even harder when one of them exhibits extreme signs of mental illness. Girl, for half the time, is a normal teenage girl. I know, many of you are cringing because that's often hard enough on its own. But for those times that Girl is not behaving normal, she is completely bazaar and acts out violently at worst and confrontational at best. Actually 75% of any conversation with her is confrontational. It's very tiring for me!
Some of her behavior has included kicking in the television, stabbing books, destroying our security system (so there'd be no evidence of her behavior!), leaving the hose on all night to flood the yard, breaking dishes, and the list goes on.
Anyway, I packed up many items in the house...pictures on the walls, knickknacks, books, etc. The house is looking bare. On the other hand, it's more like living in previous generations when our homes weren't stuffed with stuff.
She is on medication, and when she takes it she is still unpleasant and self-centered and obnoxious but not destructive. The problem is when she fakes taking it, or takes it and then goes into her room and throws it up. I don't like that she is on meds. I'd like to believe that if you eat properly, get lots of sleep, work hard, and pray, that you will be healthy physically and mentally. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. The type of meds she is on are restricted by the government. You can't have more than a couple months worth at a time. It's really hard to stockpile them.
What would I do if the SHTF and her meds not being available was a reality? I remember a few years ago when the meds for ADHD (and I do believe that most are overmedicated for this ailment) were in very short supply. Instead of being able to get a two or three month supply everyone was limited to a few weeks to a month only. ADHD is the least of Girl's issues. How would we survive her angry outbursts? In a time when we all have to pitch in to survive, she would be a liability. Sure, it's easy to say you won't take in deadweight adults, but what do you do with mentally ill children? So for now, I get her to her mental health sessions and try to keep her on her meds.
It's just ugly around here most of the time. I am constantly challenged to the point that I'd rather be at work or outside in the yard that within 20 feet of her. Great-grandparent tried to soothe me one day by reminding me that I only have five more years until Girl turns 18. Sure, if the house stays standing for that long. Or me, for that matter. That's not how I want to feel. I want to enjoy these grandkids and enjoy life. I have lots to say, we have lots of projects going on around here but this is the main reason I'm not writing. Any suggestions from others who also deal with mental health issues while also trying to prep for an uncertain future?