Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Putting in a winter garden and Girl problems again

I had a realtor come over the other day and he gave suggestions to make the outside of the house and garden look good.  He was pleased with the clean up that we did.  He wants me to take down the front pasture fencing to open the front yard up.  OK, about a week or two before the house goes on the market.  Next week the animals are going out to the front pasture to eat all the mulberry leaves that are falling to the ground.  They save me lots of time by taking care of this task and I don't have to feed them any hay while they are cleaning up the leaves and brush. 

The realtor thinks planting the garden will evoke someone looking at the house to be able to imagine the garden belonging to them.  I wasn't thinking about putting in a winter garden because I didn't want to spend any time on it, but after looking at my empty garden space I realized that I have to put in a winter garden.  Where I live a winter garden is easy - as long as the goats don't get out and eat it all.  I am going to put in broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, cabbage, and all those "winter" crops.  Once they are planted I really don't have to do anything to them.  I'll keep the weeds down to give it the glamorous look.  After all, when the house goes on the market it will all be about "staging".

Girl is still being challenging both at school and home. After she was suspended for three days the school took away her I-pad. Now she is on the old-fashioned books, paper, and pencil routine.  She is also no longer able to access Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Kik, and Twitter.  Because she is no longer occupied with the I-pad at home she is a bit more pleasant.  Just a bit.  She is doing her homework and reading again.  She still isn't helping with anything around the house or yard but at least the school attitude is better.  

Why do I write so much about the antics of Girl? Since my goal is to be self-sufficient as much as possible as well as to watch out for our safety when the SHTF as well as any time we leave our home, problems with family members have an impact on everything we do.  Even if it was a SHTF situation, she is still not an adult.  I can’t dump her on the street (although at times it crosses my mind).  I can’t pretend that her parents will somehow come to their senses and want to take back their obligation to raise their child.  She is still my responsibility.  How can I balance my preps with her actions?  She knows why we store things but she has an overwhelming need to do what she wants, no matter who it harms. 

So what is it this time with her?  I tell her that if she doesn’t keep her room clean then I will be happy to clean it.  I’m not really happy but it gives me the opportunity to go through everything.  Now I cleaned out her drawers just a few weeks ago.  Even with the house rule of only eating in the kitchen or dining room, she had eaten in her room and stashed 4 yogurt containers, a box of cake mix, 2 cans of beef stew, a container of frosting, a couple bottles of Gatorade.  She had a baggie filled with Ibuprofen, another with Tylenol, and another with aspirin.  Topping off my find was a container with over 100 pills.  There were about 15 different types of pills. She had gone into the medicine cabinet and taken some of everything she could find. 

I took all the pills back and put them back into the proper bottles.  (I was very tempted to get every type of laxative I could find and exchange her pills! Of course, she’d have gotten sick and I would have gone to jail!) I locked everything that was a prescription medication into the safe.  The rest of the medications are still in the cabinet.  I asked her why she had them.  She said that she wanted her own supply for when she needed them.  No, I have a bottle of the three main pills in the kitchen.  They are always available but you still need to ask before you help yourself.  Nobody needs a stash in the dresser drawer.  What about the container with mixed pills?  She said that she uses them to help her sleep.  What?  The doctor said if you can’t sleep then you should take a Benadryl.  For some reason Benadryl helps people sleep and is non-addictive.  I even offered that to her before.  I had also given her other tips if she can’t sleep – mainly get up and clean something.  You’ll be tired soon enough, and if you aren’t then at least something will have gotten cleaned.

Girl pulled her normal if I loved her then I’d let her have the pills.  No. Because I love you you cannot have the pills.  You cannot self-medicate.  She wanted to know why not since there’s no law saying she can’t.  I had to explain that it is against the law to use prescription medication in a way other than to who and what the doctor prescribed it.  She just complained that she doesn’t want to live with me anymore and that she wants to live with her friends parents because they would let her use whatever pills she wants. 

So with Girl constantly eating the preps and hiding what she eats, and now getting into the meds, I’m realizing that I have to keep things locked up from my own family, not just the roving masses.  I have to figure out how, in our next home I am going to arrange things so she can’t get into our preps.  While it’s normal to lock up dangerous items when you have little children around, it’s frustrating to have to do so for a fourteen year old.  At times she’s mature enough that she can really be counted on, but more often than not, her behavior is that of a temper tantrum throwing two year old.


  1. I feel your pain...I have daughters too.....Lord help us.

  2. Wow you are having a really challenging time with Girl- I have seen some that change for the better but some that never do. Hope yours is just going through a phase.

  3. I rented a house for work a few years ago that had several rooms with safe doors. Large full size doors with combo dials and key holes. I thought that was pretty clever until I found out they cost $1600+ but perhaps something like that is an option for something really secure. 2 eye bolts screwed into studs with a bar that slides and padlocks was how we did our outside door when we were growing up. Regular hasp locks are too easy to bust into but nobody wants to cut a bar and most people can't pick a lock.

    The high school that's an hour away is in a big scandal over sexting (made national news headlines last week), finally some parents are seeing the danger of not checking in on their children's activities. Some are more concerned about if it will effect college applications. Not many are conceded that it's a felony with sex offender registration, if they decide to make examples... kids will be kids they say. Many of the laws for this, another things, are ridiculous but it doesn't mean they can't bite someone in the ass. In the city, pills are a big deal at most of the high schools because they are so easy to get as most parents (and kids) have bottles and bottles of stuff sitting around.

    Winter gardening... enjoy that. You will have to greenhouse that plan next year :)

    1. There should be a way to secure the door that is less than $1600 as Max said. Just have to be creative.

      The poor behavior is too often seen in schools. The problem is to get the young person to their mid to late 20's where their brain is fully developed, and do that without the self medication. The medication become the addictive crutch that changes the brain chemistry and stops brain development. Hard times, but you are on the right track.

  4. You and yours are in my thoughts. I worry for your future in your new happy relationship. As you will have your Girl at least 4 more years, you start your new life with a major obstacle. I have no solution for you other than the possibility of her joining one of the Armed Forces where hopefully she will learn self-discipline. Responsibility can be a killer. Work hard on realizing that all problems cannot be solved. Be kind to yourself. Julia

    1. Armed forces used to be the solution to kids without self-discipline. At this point they won't even take recruits who don't have a high school diploma. She's in her first semester of high school and is failing math, English, and science. It's not that she can't do the work, she chooses not to. She was very pleased to tell me that they don't flunk high schoolers so she won't be kept in 9th grade next year. She doesn't understand that it's not the grade you are in but the courses you must pass. Hopefully she will figure it out before she digs herself into a hole that's too deep to easily climb out of.