"Calgon, Take Me Away"...Don't I wish!

I am living in the land of chaos!  Forget about the country, it’s chaos at my house.  No, it’s worse than chaos.    

The kids wanted peanut butter chip pancakes for breakfast yesterday.  Boy was helping.  Go out to the freezer and get the peanut butter chips and the pancake mix.  First HUGE mistake of the day.  I made a great breakfast then we headed outside to continue cleaning out the barn.  The top floor is now clean.  Boy then went over to a friend’s house to play.  When I dropped him off I told the friend’s mother that I’d be back in about 6 hours.  I went home, for some reason went into the garage, then went right back over to the friends to pick the Boy up.  He left the freezer door open.  Everything was melted, thawed, or soggy.  I was not happy.  He got to help me load it all into ice chests and put some into the house freezer.  The soggy breads went to the chickens.  Happy chickens!

As I wrote last week, Mr. Bug-out renter got a new job and is moving to Reno.  Initially Mrs. Bug-out renter said she didn’t want to go.  She was adamant.  We kept explaining why she had to go with him.  Her health is not good and she can’t be left on her own.  After he goes and gets settled he’ll come back and get her.  In the meanwhile she will stay at my house with us. 

Then Mr. Bug-out renter changed his mind.  He won’t be coming back to get her.  She can just stay here.  On top of her normal physical and emotional issues, she is so despondent that she isn’t getting out of bed.  Girl is on the top bunk and Mrs. Bug-out renter is on the bottom.  Other granddaughter spent the night last night so she pulled out the trundle and the three of them shared the room.  Mrs. Bug-out didn’t come to dinner.  More for us. 

Last night I was working a bit and Girl came into my library to tell me that she keeps having bad dreams of the bad guys coming.  Don’t worry, our house is safe.  Go to bed.  I decided to go to bed early.  Just as I get in bed Boy starts crying.  Boy!  Get up and go to the bathroom.  That usually stops him from continuing his nightmares.  He got up, went to the bathroom then started whining as he was walking back to his room.  Boy, get in here.  He came in.  What is wrong?  He was whining how he needed to get on my bed and sleep with me.  You are not getting on my bed and sleeping with me.  Go to bed.  He started towards his room and started whining.  OK, get your blanket and you can sleep on the floor next to my bed.  He laid down and started whining how I had to touch him.  I’m trying to sleep.  Fine.  I grabbed part of his shirt and held his shirt for about five minutes.  I was either going to stretch out his undershirt or choke him.  At that moment it didn’t matter.  I was tired.  It was enough to calm him down and get him back to sleep. 

This morning Mrs. Bug-out renter woke me up to tell me that she was using my bathroom because she had diarrhea.  And you need to use my bathroom WHY?  After smelling up by bathroom I figured no time like the present to get out of bed and out of my room. 

The three kids made breakfast.  Since other granddaughter is the youngest of four she likes coming here where she is right in the middle of Girl and Boy.  After breakfast Boy was playing in his room and the two girls were hanging out at the kitchen table. 

All of a sudden I smelled the most awful smell.  I thought the dog had the worst gas so something.  I checked on the dog and she was fine but I looked down the hall and what a mess.  Really.  Mrs. Bug-out renter was in the middle of getting dressed in the bedroom when she had to go.  Her diarrhea was back.  She ran from the room straight across the hall to the bathroom.  She missed.  With no pants on she exploded all the way from the bedroom to the bathroom.  There was her mess on the bedroom floor, splattered onto the walls, the hallway floor, the bathroom door, the bathroom floor, the toilet, and her.  As I cleaned up this most disgusting mess, many thoughts ran through my head.  First thought…I am an angel.  Second thought…as soon as she’s feeling better I’m making the hour drive back to the bug out place and dropping her off.  Third thought…what if she made this mess there?  The place would be ruined.  Fourth thought…if TSHTF (stop laughing at the literalness of this phrase) she’d be dead in a week or two.  With nobody to watch over her she’d overmedicate, pass out outside and be eaten by vultures, or burn down my bug out place or all three.  I’m not sure what I’m doing with her here but she won’t be staying here for long.  On Monday I will be figuring out how to get the security cameras up and running in the bug out place.  Then once she’s got her strength back I bring her back there. 

The kids were asking what happened.  As Mrs. Bugout was telling me how embarrassed she was I told her the kids didn't see it that way.  I told them, "You know how sometimes you get sick and throw up and you don't make it to the bathroom?  Sometimes there's a long path between your bedroom and the bathroom of your mess.  Same thing. Only this came out one end rather than the other!"  Because I was just matter of fact about this they weren't freaked out or anything.  It was just the way it was. 

I’m not joking about passing out outside and being eaten by vultures.  That happened to a friend of mine.  We were supposed to meet up at a conference about ten years ago.  He never showed up.  He called into work and said he wasn’t feeling well and was going to be out for a little bit.  A week went by and he missed an important meeting at work.  They sent some folks out to his house to see how he was doing since he wasn’t answering his phone.  They found him all right.  He had been watering his garden when he must have passed out.  The water was still running a week later.  There was nothing left of his body but scattered bones.  The birds were still there trying to get the few last pieces of him. 

Time to start canning.  All the fruit that I put into the freezer?  It needed to be canned.  Boy is helping whether he wants to or not.  It’s sure fun for the kids to help we can when they can come in and out of the kitchen all day long.  Today, he’s in for the entire time I’m in.  After all, I wouldn’t be canning on a day that’s supposed to be over 100 and humid if it weren’t for him leaving the freezer door open. 

GI Jim is thinking about being on Doomsday Preppers.  He would have a lot to offer although they will make him out to be a total wacko.  That's ok with him.  My concern is more if they give a description about where he lives.  Everyone knows where he works, he owns a military surplus and supply store.  While it's easy to figure out where people work and live once you know just a little bit about them, that doesn't mean you have to have it advertised to the entire country!  On the other hand, he's preparing to bug-out even though he lives an hour out of the big city and even on the outskirts of a small town.

Did I get any closer to independence this weekend?  Sure.  I cleaned out the barn.  Made a little money.  Gave away a dead duck to someone who really likes duck...in exchange for a venison steak.  I canned lots of fruit and 16 quarts of grape juice.  I also kept my cool under disgusting circumstances which helps the grandkids keep theirs as well. 

Monday is almost here.  I’m thinking I could get in a little peace and quiet if I go to the office and work rather than working from here.  Sort of like running away from home.